Daily Battle

Life around here is a daily battle lately. Between 5 kids, homeschool, planning for our new house, owning a business, boot camp, cooking, cleaning, playtime, family time, vision therapy, occupational therapy, husband time, alone time, church, extended family time, doctor and dentist appointments, school functions, and the list goes on. How do you fit it all in? You don't! What to cut back on is the battle. Add to that a child who isn't your typical kid it sucks you dry of any emotional energy you may have had and that makes the battle even bigger. Now I am not complaining, I am grateful for my life, my 5 kids and even my even draining child with special needs. There I said it. She is a special needs child. I have always felt bad for saying that because I have always pictured special needs kids as down syndrome, why I am not sure. I don't want to minimize the struggle that families with down syndrome have, I have no clue what it is like, but at times I think it would be a slight bit easier because people know what down syndrome is and can empathize better with children and parents of down syndrome kids. My kid has sensory processing disorder. All of this is explained in my previous blog. Not to be rude but I don't feel like explaining it again. Let me just say that she was diagnosed this summer after me just really not likening her for 4 years. Mean. Horrible. Bad mom. I know...but I have to be honest. We have gone through steps to have her diagnosed so that we can learn how she ticks to help her in life and make life a little easier for her. Don't get me wrong I love her with all of my heart, but sometimes she is hard to like. Again I am not complaining, I have had many trials in life, some were just the cards I was dealt and lots were through my own stupid decisions. All of them God has used for his glory and shaped me into who I am today, and for that I wouldn't go back and change one of them. So for the next while this blog is going to be my journal. I know there are things that I am doing well with Ellie and things that I need to work on. My hope, prayer really is that by journaling each day here on this blog I will see patterns of behavior in both her and I that I have overlooked. I am hoping to see where things have gone well and maybe I was to exhausted to notice. Or progress we have made that I wouldn't have seen if I didn't chronicle it somewhere. You get the point. My pastor at church (Canyoncreekonline.com) yesterday said that God can use the temporal for the eternal. Maybe that is his plan here. I am not sure but I know he has a plan for me and my sweet Ellie Mae. So you have been warned and I don't blame you if you don't read my blog again, this is more for me than you, selfish I know but sometimes that is what it takes.